Grieving: How to Get Through It
In my two previous posts, I wrote about death and how you can cope with it using skills and attitudes of resilience.
We talked about the importance of being able communicate with others and not hiding your emotions. I encouraged you to explore ways to express your emotions and participate in the grieving process. When you’re dealing with death, it is best to avoid denial and wishful thinking. Honesty is the best policy. We talked about the importance of taking care yourself and others, and how planning (e.g. making a living will or a legal will) can help. It is difficult, but important, to find meaning and purpose. This may be found in your faith or by living out your values and beliefs. Positive humor can be a great tool.
The funeral or memorial service is an important part of grieving. These services are more important for the living than those who have died. These encourage people to grieve, and allow them to express their emotions. Crying is a good thing, as I mentioned earlier. The sadness you feel may only get worse. You can still grieve, and ask for help from others. Things will improve. It’s important to keep in touch with others about your feelings and how you are doing. Do not isolate yourself or avoid others.
Others may be able to get over the loss faster than you. It’s OK to let them know that you are still grieving the loss and need to be patient. You should not self-medicate using alcohol, although medication can be very helpful. You must be there to grieve.
Continue to grieve
It is often the hardest anniversary to remember. You should plan for this day. Do not ignore it. Spend the time with someone you care about who has a connection with the deceased. If you feel it would be helpful, visit the grave. Talk about the loss. You can continue to grieve and mourn the loss.
Do not be alarmed if you are able to speak with the deceased. This is normal in general. Sometimes, it can be very useful.
Get help if you are having trouble getting through the grieving process. Talk therapy is another option. Self-medicating using alcohol or other drugs won’t work. Although antidepressants can help you feel better, they can also make it difficult to grieve. Discuss this with your doctor.
Remember that this temporary situation is temporary. The temporary nature of what you are going through isn’t permanent. Things will change. Although the impact this has had on you and your life has been significant, it hasn’t changed anything. Blaming someone or yourself for the death of a loved one will not bring them back, nor will it help you feel better or cope.